Dear Family and Friends, We hope this finds you well and that you are staying warm in whatever part of the world you may currently find yourself. We are presently waiting on pins and needles (ha!) to see if we will be met with the 12-18” of snow predicted to come our way beginning tomorrow. It has been several months since our last update and in many ways, it seems that our life has changed rapidly and yet again (in the day to day monotony of infant feedings, changing, etc.,) not at all. We figured it was time to send out an update from our corner of the world! Getting Up to Date I believe our last update came to you from Syracuse, New York as we were venturing up north for a few months in Maine. We enjoyed a lovely 3 month stay in the Northeast, while awaiting paperwork and adoption proceedings. (The most asked question we received this fall was, “Why Maine?” Maine was one of the states charged with finalizing our adoption and we needed to be in state for home visits with attorneys, etc. Our case was originally transferred there to help us expedite and navigate the difficulties of returning to China. Once we realized it would be too difficult to return, enough time had progressed to make changing this part of the process unavoidable. We enjoyed a lovely stay up north, and explored Boston, Portsmouth NH (we almost landed here for a little while!), the Seacoast, and Woodstock, Vermont where we had a small weekend getaway. We enjoyed visits by both sets of our parents, along with some dear friends, and were grateful to take in all of the fall festivals, pumpkin patches, and autumn harvests that we have missed out on while being abroad. It was a lovely beginning season for us as a new family of 3! .We left Maine (narrowly avoiding a snowstorm) the week before Christmas and took a 4 day trek from the Northeast to central Florida to stay with my parents for a while. We enjoyed soaking in the warmer temperatures, long walks in the sunshine, and time with family. Several of my cousins visited over New Year’s, which was a wonderful chance to reconnect. Our timeline in Florida lengthened as Jess was invited for several in person interviews for Principal/Head of School positions. Over the past few months, we had been entertaining several possibilities about our next steps and January became the month where everything began to really formulate and come together. Where to Next? When we first returned home to the US, we were often asked whether we were seeking job opportunities in the states or if we were hoping to go abroad again. We never truly had an answer to this question, as our options were never location based. We saw benefits to both choices, and for us, our primary focus was always on finding a school that would be the best fit for who we are, not only as individuals, but as a family. This led to a somewhat exhausting job search as we were willing to land just about anywhere if the school was right. In the past few months, we’ve interviewed with schools in Hong Kong, Switzerland, Austria, Colombia, New York City, and Germany, just to name a few. While other opportunities presented themselves, nothing ever felt right until Jessie’s most recent string of interviews. In mid-January, she spent almost a week on an extended interview and school visit in Augsburg, Germany, and we are excited to share that we will be moving there in late March/early April! She will be taking on a School Director of Education role (for those unfamiliar with the education sphere, this is a very well deserved promotion for her from her previous role of Upper School Principal) at the International School of Augsburg. We are happy to be landing back in an IB school that is so focused on families and community building and the idea of being in Europe was an unexpected twist for us that we’re looking forward to! Kaia We, of course, can’t send an update without sharing about Kaia. She is such a feisty, strong, and happy baby and having the opportunity to have so much time together as a family in her early months is a privilege that is not lost on us. We feel very fortunate to have experienced so many of her milestones together. To prepare her for the adventures ahead, she’s found her feet planted in 21 states in the past 4 months. She’s become an expert travel baby, and is enjoying (finally) having her own little nursery in St. Louis for a while after jumping from one airbnb to the next in her little life. Myko and Tiger I’m not sure when I turned into the kind of person who gives updates on our animals, but since Myko and Tiger have lived through a variety of adventures the past 5 months too (and because we still get so many questions about them), I figured they deserved their own little section. We were happy to finally be reunited with Myko this weekend after what has been a bit of a bumpy road for him. After flying with us from China, being moved to no less than 5 airbnb’s, and living with a crazy cat lady while we were in the Northeast, he finally spent the better part of the last two months with family friends of ours in St. Louis where he was well-loved. He has had fun exploring the new house and figuring out what to do with the tiny shrieking human we’ve acquired in his absence. :) Tiger remains in Beijing where he has been boarded for the past 5 months. He nearly made it to Canada with a flight volunteer several times, but due to visa issues, the flights kept getting pushed back. Now that our plans are a bit firmer, we’re hoping to save him any additional flights and are hoping to book him on a direct flight from Beijing to Munich in April (If you have any leads on flight volunteers leaving China for Germany, give us a shout!). It has been a long road for him and while we are saddened by the separation, we know he has been in good hands throughout this time and are eager to see him again soon! Wedding Bells? For those who have been following our wedding saga, you may be wondering where this leaves us in terms of our wedding plans. This is the third wedding date we’ve booked, and we had hoped that the old adage of “third time’s a charm” might ring true in this case. The past year threw our world on its axis. We have focused the majority of our efforts on Kaia, returning stateside, and what our next steps might be. As the future has become a bit clearer for us, we’ve decided that squeezing a wedding into the midst of yet another international move is a bit crazy (even for us). So we have decided to cancel the wedding indefinitely. While it saddens us, we also know that we wouldn’t be able to have the wedding we’d envisioned: with friends, family, and our community from around the world all in one place. With the pandemic still an issue, borders remain closed, and too many unknowns exist. We hope to find the time to throw a stateside reception or celebration at some point in the future to celebrate with loved ones and will keep everyone posted of those plans when and if they should arise. Why Don’t You Just Elope? Well, that’s a good question. Actually….. we did! Follow us back in time to September 2019, won’t you? We were just beginning to connect with adoption agencies, when we realized that many were only willing to work with married couples. Our original planned wedding date was in July 2020, and we figured, why not check one more logistical item off our list while we were already traveling for vacation? Jess liked the idea of a private ceremony and we thought it was something we could reveal in jest a few months later at our actual wedding. Little did we know, that date would come and go while we were landlocked in China, along with a litany of other dates to follow. We find ourselves even more grateful now for that whimsical private ceremony that took place on the cliffs overlooking the ocean in one of Guam’s most beautiful villages, accompanied by the village mayor who presided over our ceremony, and our photographer and makeup artist who served as witnesses. It wasn’t the wedding that I’d envisioned, but it ended up being perfect (for us). :) So here we are, taking our third spin around the world together as a married couple (October 1, 2019 was our wedding date) with adventures that we couldn’t have ever imagined or hoped for ourselves. We still feel lucky that in the chaos of all that has happened in our world over the past several years, that we’ve had each other to lean on. What’s Next? We arrived in St. Louis last week and have been living a little like scavengers this week, collecting home items from neighbors, picking up furniture, unpacking old boxes in storage, and trying to put a makeshift home together that will get us through the next few months. Jess is excited to have the opportunity to sub for a few months and relearn the culture of schools in the US for a while, and I’m looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family members while we’re in the area. We have a visit with Jessie’s family to look forward to in celebration of her dad’s birthday and also plan to visit Kaia’s birth mama again before we take off for Germany. Our arrival there will be well-timed, as the school is enrolling Jess in an intensive language school for 6-8 weeks to get her started. The next chapter will include looking for a home, settling, and learning more about the school and community. Jess will be replacing the founding Head of School, which is never an easy task. However, their transition plans include the current Head ending the year, and allowing for a gradual release of responsibilities, which is ideal when taking on a new role. All in all, we are amazed at the whirlwind that has transpired over the past several months and are still a little in awe that we began the school year in one country and will be ending it in quite another. We look forward to seeing what lies ahead for us, and hope that our paths bring us a little bit closer to you in the interim. As always, our home is always open to you. We hope that if you make your way to Germany, you will come visit! Sending love, Jess, Michelle, & Kaia
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A decade has passed, and with it, some pretty vast accomplishments have been made. I am always amazed at how much can be accomplished in 10 years. Reading through reflections that people have shared about the past decade of their lives has made me contemplate the changes in mine own as well. To say that the years have brought change would be an understatement. In 2010, I was 26 years old. I moved from Guam back to the US where I began trying to iron out the future of what my life as an adult would look like. I began working in the photography industry, and ran my own business for several years. While doing this, I went back to school to receive my Masters degree and began student teaching at a school I deeply treasured in St. Louis. I spent several years there working alongside some truly wonderful human beings, who will always hold an incredibly special place in my heart. In 2016, I moved from the US to China to teach at an international school, and became an avid traveler. The following year, I adopted a street dog whose presence has absolutely changed me for the better. And this year, I became an elementary school librarian (which unbeknownst to me, was my dream job). I never knew I could be so happy creating opportunities and conversations with students and teachers about books and experiences and community. And, my friends, I fell in love. Some of these pieces of my life I have openly shared, and others have been tucked away, as I've navigated what this means within the context of my future, my faith, and my life. For me, 2020 is the year I am choosing to step forward more fully into the woman I am becoming, growing more confidently into the person I am, and at ease beside the one I have chosen to spend my life with. This is the hand that has held mine for the past two years: in times of both joy and suffering. It is the hand that will hold mine in marriage, the person I hope I get to be lucky enough to parent beside, and the person I wake up and choose to laugh with, again and again, every single day. This relationship might surprise some of you. If it does, I hope the news of it will land gently for you. For those who will undoubtedly question where this came from and how I ended up finding myself here, I can only really offer you this: I’m still the same. I still cry at Folgers commercials, my heart still skips a beat when I watch Sound of Music or Anne of Green Gables (the love of classic movies and musicals instilled in me by my grandmother at a young age), and I still deeply cherish the relationships I’ve built with the people in my life (this includes you). I am still a walking disaster, prone to kitchen catastrophes and finding every conceivable way to injure or harm myself, and I still fiercely long and desire to be a mom someday. I still have faith in a God who is greater than myself- who has brought such immeasurable, immense blessings in my life. And I still believe that at the end of the day, people are far more alike than they are different. That our stories matter and that, by sharing them, we release others from carrying burdens that might be causing them to feel completely and utterly alone.
Coming to an acceptance of myself has been the deepest, most difficult journey I’ve traveled. I’ll always be grateful for the people who have walked alongside me with such genuine love during this season of immense questioning and understanding. In so many ways, nothing about me has changed- but in countless others- it seems as though everything has. I have learned to accept and love myself more fully, in ways I never truly was able to in the past. And I have been granted a gift that so many people long for- to be in a partnership where I am truly seen and deeply loved for all of the reasons I’ve listed above and more. My life hasn’t unraveled in the way I expected for it to. But it has been immeasurably more beautiful, loving, and true than I ever expected. It takes courage to walk forward towards the life you find for yourself. Perhaps I’ve learned this more than anything else as I’m making my way towards my future. The greatest fear of any LGBTQ+ person stepping out into this part of the journey is the fear of lost relationships. For a person like myself, who deeply cherishes every connection I’ve ever made, the implications of what this could mean cuts deep. But the pain of hiding such a bright, wonderful part of my life hurts more. So the New Year is as good a time as any to step forward. Life is too short to be lived quietly, while holding a space for the discomfort of others. And I have far too much peace and joy to share with the world to allow myself to live in that kind of fear. There is a future to be had, a life that is beautiful that I have loved every part of for the past two years. Until recently, I’ve been living this life quietly, reconfiguring what this means within the context of my life and the relationships I hold close to my heart. But it isn’t in my nature to lack connection with the people I love, and so as I spring forward, I can offer you this: there will be more. More transparency, more openness, more travel adventures, and more sharing about human connection, which is- honest to God- the only thing that really matters. I hope you’ll stick around to be a part of it. I hope the New Year holds an infinite amount of peace and joy for you as you navigate your own journey. May we all grow wiser, kinder, and more loving to others, but also to ourselves, this year. And please know, that for as long as you need one, you will always have a space here. ❤️ I'm in list making mode, which means that the summer is creeping to an end and a busy school year lies just ahead on the horizon. It's been a good summer, filled with great people and beautiful sights. After the chaos of last summer with selling everything and moving abroad, it felt like the perfect balance of everything I needed to feel refreshed and ready to move back into school mode. My reflections, as follows:
Things I Will Miss About Summer:
Things I Am Most Looking Forward To:
Things I Am Not Looking Forward To:
This summer is almost in the books, folks, and it's been a good one! What would be on your list of "Things" from the summer? We live in a Big World.
This is something that I've always known, but it seems like the more I travel, the deeper my understanding of this grows. I was having this conversation with my Airbnb host over coffee in San Francisco this morning. She was telling me about her experiences growing up as an Asian American in a city as diverse as Los Angeles, and how she never really felt the sting of racism until she visited her boyfriend's family in a small town in the midwest. For the first time in her life, she felt the eyes of a storeowner following her around as she shopped at a small town convenient store and as conversations came to a halt and people stopped and stared when she walked into a local ice cream store alone. Each time, she said the heat rose in her cheeks and tears stung in her eyes. She said it was the first time she really understood that the world isn't an entirely safe place for people of color. As an asian woman growing up in a macro city full of color, it was an eye opening, revolting, and hurtful experience. When she relayed the events to her boyfriend's family, hoping to find a safe place and some solace from them, his brother replied, "Well, at least you aren't a n*****." Her jaw dropped to the floor, and tears began to fall from her eyes as the rest of the family tried to encourage her that he was "only trying to make her feel better." Unfortunately, it's an experience people of color have on a daily basis in some cities in America. I've been spending a lot of my time in airports this summer. Watching the comings and goings of people. Lots of people. Of all colors, shapes, and sizes. So many beautiful different hues of life passing by as they move from one place to the next, one terminal to another. And I think to myself, there is only so much you can learn about the world by occupying one bit of space for an entire lifetime. Perhaps that is part of what has led me on this journey to seek and explore what else exists in the world that we live in. I have a need to know what else is out there. Not just so that I can explore and learn of our differences. I think in the end, what I'm looking for is what it is that binds us. How are we the same, in spite of the thousands of small things that might separate us? From one moment and one conversation to the next these are the questions I strive to further explore as an expat. I no longer feel ties to a physical sense of "home." Sometimes this saddens me as I hear others speak about returning to their childhood home or describing in detail where they are from. While the people I love in this world are plentiful, I have found that home consists of wherever I am in the world. I am nostalgic for the sounds, smells, and familiarities of so many places, and while none of them are necessarily home, I find that I've left parts of small bits of myself behind with every new journey forward. I hope that as I continue to seek and explore the mysteries of what binds us, that I will do so with an open heart, a clear mind, and a curiosity that grows in spite of my age or experiences. Ah, summer. The time of year when teachers read for fun and don't feel an ounce of guilt for staying curled up late in bed to finish reading a book at 3 AM. One of my goals this summer was to read for pleasure, but to also find books that helped to expand my worldview. Because of this, I tried to read books this summer that explored the human condition and stretched across a wide range of experiences. I wanted my summer reading to be a good balance of stories about humanity that stretched across many different countries and genres. Some of the central themes I read about this summer were citizenship, young adulthood and self-realization, domestic abuse, life as a child immigrant, womanhood, racism, LGBTQ personhood and homophobia, otherness, and deconstructing and rebuilding one's faith. This is just a smattering of some of the books I enjoyed this summer. 1. American Street By Ibi ZoboiGenre: Contemporary Young Adult Fiction American Street is a beautifully told story of a young Haitian immigrant''s experience being uprooted from her home in Port-au-Prince. Upon their arrival in America, tender, strong Fabiola comes to find that her mother has been detained by immigration officials and she must continue her journey to Detroit alone. There was a lot to appreciate about this book: particularly, the struggles of being an immigrant while also coming of age. This was a hard read in parts, but a beautiful one. 2. Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America By Firoozeh Dumas3. Somewhere Inside of Happy by Anna McPartlinI recently moved into a new apartment this summer and found this book to be left behind by a friend who was in my book club last year. I picked it up while I was back in Hangzhou for a few days this summer and was surprised by how quickly I grew to love the characters. This is a special book, where Irish author Anna McPartlin captures a delicate subject in a time when people were less accepting. Set in the 1990's, it is a warm, compelling, beautiful, and sad story with an important message. 4. Love Warrior By Glennon DoyleGenre: Memoir “I'm not a mess, but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now when someone asks me why I cry so often. I say, 'For the same reason I laugh so often--because I'm paying attention.' "If we choose to introduce our true selves to anyone, we will get hurt. But we will be hurt either way. There is pain in hiding and pain outside of hiding. The pain outside is better because nothing hurts as bad as not being known. The irony is that our true selves are tougher than our 'representatives' are. My tender self was never weak at all. She was made to survive the pain of love. My tenderness is my strength." A friend of mine recently recommended Glennon's book to me as we were discussing vulnerability and how much we often desire it, but how difficult it really is to live out in our relationships. I had already heard her name tumbling around in the world of other authors I love and admire. I fluttered back and forth between acceptance and annoyance on this one, but it is probably the book that I took the most from this summer. Glennon's honesty is the greatest draw of the book, which I think gives others the courage to live out their fullest selves too. 5. Towers Falling By Jewell Parker RhodesGenre: Young Adult
"Towers Falling" is a heartfelt and beautiful book that was a recommendation by a friend and fellow primary school teacher who listed it as one of her favorite reads of the summer. I read it cover to cover in one sitting and appreciated the author's ability to clothe a very needed book with so much humanity, community, and diversity. She somehow did this in a way that felt both honest and gentle. The intended audience of the book is middle grade students, although I feel that it was not quite complex enough for students of this age and would be better suited for upper elementary aged students. The author wrote the story as a resource for teachers to introduce students to 9/11- an event that happened prior to when they were even born.. There are so many things to love about this book that I can't list them all. As a teacher of children from various backgrounds, I think I loved the believability of the characters most. The diversity and liveliness of each character in this book was beautiful. Each character's goodness really shone through. I especially loved Deja, because she reminded me of so many of the students I worked with in my previous school: strong, proud, and trying to hold her head high despite her family's trials. The character development in this book was so rich that I could easily relate their stories and experiences to those of many of the children and families I have worked with over the years. Overall, this is an important book that shines a bright light on humanity, community, diversity, and how those things combined contribute to the strength of America. |
AuthorMichelle is an expat and globetrotter, currently residing in Augsburg, Germany. Originally from the US, she has called Guam, China, and Germany home. Her passions include collecting children's picture books, reading, writing, traveling, and trying to remove coffee stains from freshly cleaned shirts. Archives
February 2022
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