"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, and your stomach; because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you." -Frederick Buechner
Whenever a season of goodbyes comes along, I make my way back to this quote by Frederick Buechner. I've always been one to wander, to explore, to learn about myself by learning more about others, and to openly seek out places that will challenge me to grow into this woman that I'm becoming. It's not always easy. I tend to paint life with a rose colored brush at times, always finding the beauty in the newness of the places I go and the people I meet. It's a trait that I've (painstakingly) grown to love about myself. There is a trade off though. Because in order to arrive, you have to leave. Arriving is the easy part. It's the anticipation, the new exchanges with colleagues and future friends, the planning and decorating that goes into recreating a new space into a home. It's the travel plans, the feeling of having the world at your fingertips, and of recreating yourself in different seasons of your life. There is an excitement for what is to come. What you leave behind is familiarity. The routines of a life you've fallen into line with, the habits you've grown accustomed to, and the people who, for a little while, were yours to keep. Things you can part with, sell, store, or leave behind. It's the people you carry with you. I have a terribly memory. It's a joke of sorts among close friends, because they are constantly having to remind me of events that have taken place in years past. However, it amazes me that regardless of what the distance might be or how far removed I might feel from the people I care about most- they are always just a blink away. One blink away, and I am back in the safe, solid arms of my Grams, snuggling on her couch, eating graham crackers with milk, and laughing until my sides hurt. One blink away, and I'm on a front porch swing, soaking in the quiet early mornings alone before campers and counselors will arise and the quiet acreage that I find sanctity in, is alive with love and laughter. One blink away, and I'm in a twin bed, tangled in a web of 3 little bodies, getting ready for bed time stories, staying just long enough to see their long eyelashes close and quiet mumbles turn into long sleeping sighs. One blink away, and I'm on the back patio of my alma mater's Student Union, surrounded by a group of friends that I would spend the next four years learning, laughing, and growing beside. One blink away, and I'm in a small sanctuary on a tiny island: listening to the hymns of praise surrounding me, kissing a hundred sweaty cheeks in morning greetings, and playing with crawling babies between church pews. One blink away, and I'm walking the hallways of a school where I have experienced the most growth in my adult life. Laughter echoes its way from one room to the next. It is a place I have laughed, questioned, cried, and learned to believe in the strength of who I am. One blink away, and I am back in the arms of my people: the ones who are always in my corner, who love enough to let go, who treasure seasons, yet trust the future, and who have given deeply of themselves to me. I could blink my way into a hundred faces: my parents, my dear aunts, my mentors, cousins, friends who have always been nothing but family, and loved ones who were mine to keep for just a scrape in time. The ache of missing never goes away. Some might find this kind of life daunting, painstaking, or not worth the loss and change in relationships. Sometimes I wonder if the wanderlust inside me will ever quiet, allowing me to settle. Other times, I am reminded that to wander is to learn, to live, to give yourself gifts you might otherwise miss, and to keep your mind aware of just how small you are in this great big world. Whatever the case, may it be well known to you dear friends: I love you I love you I love you The Most.
4 Comments
marlene perez
7/25/2016 03:33:06 pm
Love it. Beautifully written. Cant wait to read your future blogs.
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Nikki
7/25/2016 08:17:06 pm
All that is gold does not glitter,
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Pam
7/26/2016 09:17:11 am
Oh Michelle, you never cease to amaze me! Well written, my friend. Sending love to you and wishes for more laughter in your new hallways!
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Mary Kay Nolen
7/26/2016 09:58:07 am
I love this.
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AuthorMichelle is an expat and globetrotter, currently residing in Augsburg, Germany. Originally from the US, she has called Guam, China, and Germany home. Her passions include collecting children's picture books, reading, writing, traveling, and trying to remove coffee stains from freshly cleaned shirts. Archives
February 2022
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