"When we feel awe, we feel connected to something much, much larger than ourselves. These doses of humility, ironically, can make us feel stronger, more resilient and kinder to each other. Studies show that when we experience awe, we feel like time slows down, and we behave more generously to one another." - Florence Williams, "The Nature Fix"
Being back on Guam has filled me with so much wonder and awe. It's fitting that I am reading "The Nature Fix" during my time here. I planned on writing a longer blog post about this, but for now, I think the beauty of the island speaks for itself.
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Returning to island life is something that I've dreamed about for a long time. It's funny how my perception of that experience has been changed by the fact that I was coming back to the island from China, and not the states. While living on Guam is no doubt expensive, it still has so many of the luxuries that I sometimes miss while living abroad in Hangzhou. It's been interesting to try to see which little things have made me smile while being back on island, and to try to differentiate between whether things I miss are about "stateside living" or things that are unique to the island itself. I've found so far that it's been a pretty even balance of both:
Things that have made me pause, smile, reflect, or find joy in:
Recently, an INTJ friend of mine reached out to me for advice on how to best communicate his affection for someone he is falling for. He is in the throes of a very new relationship with a fellow ENFP and is struggling to understand her in some ways. Being the relationship expert that I am (ha!), I did what all good lovers of MBTI do: I turned to Google with the hopes of finding a quick article to send to him.
What I found was that while there are a handful of good articles in existence about how to start a relationship with an ENFP, that there really weren't many that encompassed the depth of ENFP's and what they need for stability in a relationship. So without further ado: I give you this list. While I (obviously) connect with typology and find many truths in MBTI myself, please also note that humans are in fact individuals and that some things listed here could be subjective. However, given the ridiculous amount of time I've spent plugged into Jung's theory of psychological types, here are some truths that I'd consider mostly universal about ENFP's and their needs in relationships. Hopefully this list will help you to love, or at least better understand, an ENFP in your life. Things you should know: 1. We are naturally enthusiastic and curious. I recently spent some time with a friend I knew growing up, who I haven't seen much socially for many years. While we were out exploring a city that is still new-ish to me, she said. "I forgot just how curious you are. It's good to see you haven't changed much." Curiosity and enthusiasm are one of the things we are probably most known for. ENFP's have a genuine excitement for life and are full of natural curiosity about the world and the people in it. I have met older ENFP's who easily appear 20 years younger because of the zeal that they continue to have for life. It is one of the things that stands out most about our type and something that we value most about ourselves. We are fascinated by so many things. We are also easily amused. ;) How to love this part of us: Engage us in new thoughts or ideas. Engaging our minds is one of the quickest ways to really connect with us. Tell us what things you are currently wondering or thinking about and ask us the same thing. Throw scenarios our way or challenge us with new information. Knowledge is power and we love people who help us grow. 2. We like to take care of others, but struggle to be taken care of ourselves. But please do it anyway. We are seekers of people. We love them and when we connect with others, we are often the first to go out of our way to initiate conversations, check in to see how their day/week has been, and make sure they are doing okay. We feel fulfilled when the people in our daily lives are happy and we try to find ways that we can add to that. The truth is though, we are often on the giving end of those things. Sometimes we need to be taken care of, but we will never ask you to do it. We hate asking for help. This can end up being a really lonely place for ENFP's to be. How to love this part of us: Few things make me feel more special than knowing when someone is thinking of me or goes out of their way to help me or check in on me. Make it a point to make contact with us. Texts, small handwritten notes, or unexpected pop-ins (although not always welcomed at home) are all acceptable forms of checking in on us. We think so often of others that we will notice when the cards are reversed. 3. We really, truly are not flirting with the waiter. It will hurt us if you make the insinuation that we are. ENFP's are constantly accused of flirting (with everyone), and while it's true that most people will never have as much love and attention thrown their way by others as ENFP's often lavish, it really is only our curiosity that pushes us to engage in and interact with others as forcefully as we sometimes do. How to love this part of us: Accept the fact that your world has collided with someone who absolutely loves people and shows genuine interest in just about everyone. But also know that our loyalties run deep, and if we have chosen you, we will invest in you fully. ENFP's are very much all or nothing types. If we're not fully invested in you, you'll know it. ;) 4. We have layers. And lots of them. It will take us quite a bit of time (and some gentle prodding) to actually open up to you. This is probably one of the most surprising things about ENFP's. While we come off as being incredibly warm and open, we are actually very private. We rarely share personal things about ourselves with others. This is a juxtaposition of sorts, because what we crave most are meaningful conversations and interactions. The clincher is that while we want to know ALL about you, we will often hold back in sharing much about who we are and what we need from the people we do life with. Growing up and even today, I've often felt that many people feel closer to me than I do to them. There is nothing wrong with that, however, it's important to know that while we are external processors, we are internal feelers. There is a lot going on in my heart and mind on an ongoing basis that I might never feel that I am able to process externally with someone I love, unless they ask the right questions. There are very (very) few people who know me deeply, and those who do have really taken the time to invest in me. If you take any time to observe an ENFP, you will notice that they are usually focused on other people. How to love this part of us: Be understanding of the fact that we have introverted hearts. This can often cause confusion for those who love us, because while it appears that we are open books, we are actually quite selective in who we open ourselves up to. Be willing to love us through our layers. Ask open ended questions to encourage us to dive deeper with you. And realize that if we are volunteering personal bits of information with you, it's a big deal. 5. We need time to process and we're probably going to do it out loud. ENFP's are external processors. What this means for the people who share space with us is that we are often coming to revelations about things while we are speaking. Unfortunately, this also means that half the time that we are talking, it can seem nonsensical, because our brains don't do the whole, "processing and compartmentalizing what is share worthy and what is not" thing. I have about 18 conversations a day when I immediately regret the words coming out of my mouth because my brain just hasn't caught up yet. Luckily for mature ENFP's, this isn't usually too much of a problem, however, it does mean that our thoughts often seem scattered. How to love this part of us: Listen. Have patience for our whimsical way of sharing what is going on in our minds and understand that just because we might be venting, problem solving, or thinking out loud, it doesn't necessarily mean we want you to fix anything for us. Be understanding of how we process and don't judge us for the lackluster way that our thoughts can sometimes come together. Some of the people I have felt the safest with in life have been those that I can sit beside and think out loud with. It is one of the ways we make sense of life and having someone willing and unassuming enough to help us by listening to us process is gold. 6. Verbal praise is everything. This is a hard one to admit, but it's true of every ENFP I've ever known. We are over-analyzers and we know that we have big personalities. Because of this, we have a tendency to feel insecure in relationships if we aren't told exactly where we stand or how you feel about us. I often feel like I am just too much for people and since I was young I have always wondered if I'm encroaching on people's space, just by how I love them. Human connection is something ENFP's thrive off of and it is something we not only crave, but something we need to feel balanced. We need to know that you see us and appreciate us. ENFP's are people who need verbal praise often, especially from the people we care about. We have to know where we stand with you. How to love this part of us: This is a difficult one to write about without seeming really needy. This is an area where we have the potential to feel the most loved, if your comments are sincere. I guess the best way to love us in this respect is to be cognizant of the fact that this really is a consistent need of ours. Be specific in your praise and tell us when we do something that makes you grateful or proud. And remember that just because you told us on Monday how much you appreciate us, doesn't mean we won't need our tank filled again by Friday. 7. Go with the flow. An ENFP friend of mine recently got out of a long relationship where the deal breaker was the difference in which she and her partner approached the speed of life. He was too regimented and she was too free and they had a tough time meeting in the middle. ENFP's go with the flow of life. We like not knowing where a day might lead us or what adventures we might find along the way. We don't mind making plans but we don't always feel like we need to stick to them. As my mother would say, sometimes we just like to "fly by the seat of our pants." ;) How to love this part of us: Keep us on our toes. Be willing to go into a weekend or a vacation without having a schedule and surprise us by your willingness to seek out new experiences with us. 8. We crave consistency. Luckily for my friend, our natural relationship partners (in life and in friendship) often tend to be INTJ's or INFJ's. Some of this probably stems from the steadiness we find in those types. ENFP's have a tendency to be all over the place, but once you really learn our patterns, we are actually very predictable. Still, we are idea people who often have our heads stuck in the clouds. We need the gentle grounding of a person who is reasonable, steadfast, loyal, and dependable. Hot and cold personalities are among the hardest people for us to connect with because we never really know what to expect or where we stand with them. If you are warm and friendly one minute and cold the next, we will take it personally. How to love this part of us: Be consistent, especially in your interactions with us. Because we don't open up to everyone, if you are in our inner circle, we will likely desire contact with you on a routine basis. Knowing that we are an important part of your life validates our relationship and helps us know what to expect from you. I have often joked about this before, but it's true: there is nothing more charming to me than reliability. 9. Be willing to engage in parallel play. Parallel play is known as the stage in early development when small children play beside another child without engaging with them directly. ENFP's are the most introverted of the extroverted types. Being so, we crave time alone to think, process, regroup, and reflect on current happenings and wonderings. While we love people, we can become easily overwhelmed or overstimulated and need quiet time to re-energize. Especially at the end of a long day, there are few things that I love more than being beside someone who allows me to just be. My old coworker, Kathi, and I used to parallel play our way through report card comments, weekly planning, printing/filing/stapling, and so much more. Being in the presence of someone we love, even if we aren't talking, is comforting for us. How to love this part of us: Spend a Saturday curled up on the couch reading with us or in a coffee shop writing or getting work done. We crave time alone with the people we really love and quietly sitting in your presence will be a good balance of giving us time to regroup while also helping us to feel like we aren't alone. 10. Don't put us in a box. ENFP's need room to grow. More than most types, we see life as a journey and believe we are (and should be) constantly evolving through it. We are very quickly drawn to new adventures and ideas and while we do sometimes need to be pulled back down from the clouds, we also really value people who understand our need for consistent growth and new experiences. We see these as opportunities to learn more about ourselves. How to love this part of us: Encourage our personal growth and hair brained ideas. Find opportunities to help us try new things. Sometimes we do need to be snapped back to reality, but learn us well enough to know when to gently tug us back to earth and when to encourage us to spread our wings and fly. 11. Include us in your adventures. We love seeing the world through the eyes of people we love. If there is something you love doing, take us along on the journey. It will help us to feel like we are seeing another side to you and we might also learn something about ourselves along the way. How to love this part of us: While this is really more about you than it is about us, anytime we feel like a person has opened up a piece of themselves to us, we take that seriously. Being trusted with another person's dreams and adventures makes us feel like we are an important part of your life. 12. Criticize lightly. ENFP's throw our entire selves into life. We try to live rather than exist, so 95% of the time we pour our whole hearts into our work, relationships, art, hobbies, etc. We have a very difficult time separating who we are as a person from who we are professionally or who we are in a relationship. Despite how long I've been alive or how much I've tried to train myself otherwise, I will always be a little bit sensitive to criticism. How to love this part of us: Be gentle. We really do want to be the best version we can be of ourselves and the only way of doing that sometimes is to know what we can do better. Don't avoid confrontation with us. We are likely to do enough of that all by ourselves. Instead, choose your words kindly and come at us from a point of love. If we know that your aim is to better us or our relationship, we will really try to take it in stride. And if we've hurt you, please tell us. Communication is huge for us and we need to know how to remedy things, even when we're in the wrong. 13. Inspire us. I have never been drawn to someone I wasn't inspired by. I also couldn't ever be in a relationship with someone who wasn't passionate about what they do. The ability to inspire is probably one of the things I appreciate most in others. It is the kind of person I hope to be and so I seek the same in the people I hold in my inner circle. How to love this part of us: Share your ideas with us. ENFP's are types who often fall in love with a person's mind. We want to encourage growth in you as much as we want you to help us grow. By sharing your dreams with us, we will know how to support you in not only your future plans, but also in your every day life. 14. Be a safe place for us. The world is noisy, and we are often adding our own form of noise to it. At the end of the day, security is everything for us. We need to know that we have a retreat or escape from the rest of the world when things seem just a little bit chaotic or on days when we feel too much. Knowing that we are a safe place for you to land is equally important to us. How to love this part of us: Encourage us. Affirm us. Trust us. Believe in us. 2016 was a lot of things for me. It was a year of change, to be sure. Here's a month by month view of 2016! January, The Decision. After taking the previous two months to more fully research and reflect on how I felt about moving abroad again, in January I began earnestly filling out CV's and pursuing the realty of a career in international education. At this point, I was still fairly early in my process, but had already decided if I was given a decent contract and an ample opportunity anywhere, I would take it. After a wonderful first half of the 2015-2016 school year with possibly my most memorable class ever, I realized if I was still as anxiety ridden and unhappy while teaching the BEST class ever, that it was time for a change. At this point, I hadn't told anyone of my plans to look abroad. February, Seek and Find. We had one (and only one) snow day during the 2015-2016 school year and it happened to be the day that my current job was posted on an international teaching board. I was at home in my PJs, drinking coffee and watching the snow fall in the city from my second story apartment, when the link for the HIS job popped up. I clicked on it haphazhardly, expecting to make my way to another site again soon, and instead found myself staying a while. I rely on my intuition far too much, but it played out well for me this time. While I was hoping for a job in Japan, I was open to most countries. China wasn't really on my list, but I found myself impressed with the school's vision and community and on a whim, I submitted an application within the hour. Two days later, I had an interview, and within a week, I had signed a two year contract. How's that for timing?! March, The Telling. For someone who processes externally, I did a pretty decent job of keeping this one to myself. I didn't tell my parents I was looking abroad until I'd been offered the job. The only people who knew I was interviewing were my principal, my mentor, and one of my teammates. March became a month of revealing to family members and friends that I was headed off to explore the world again. Most weren't all that surprised to hear that I was moving overseas again (except for my poor aunts, who thought I was taking them to brunch to let them know I'd met somone and instead found out I was moving to the other side of the globe. Ha!), but everyone was seemingly surprised by China. It was an early indicator for me that there is a disconnect when it comes to Americans having an understanding about life in China. My favorite reactions were from some of the post-retirement crowds. You would have thought I'd said I was moving to the moon. :) April, Telling the Kiddos. I've mentioned before that I loved my class last year. I don't know that I can really put into words why they were so special. Any teacher can tell you that sometimes a group comes along and they are the perfect fit for you. Those were my kids last year. They were the absolute perfect blend of everything: they were silly, insatiably curious, incredibly kindhearted, honest, stinking hilarious, always weloming of one other's differences, and always excited to learn about the world and people. They loved each other and they really knew how to love me. (Not at all their job, but when someone knows how to love you well, it feeds your soul). The relationship I had with that group felt sacred in some ways and being their teacher was an immense honor. I will remember them forever. (And hope to hug some of their little necks when I am in town next week!) ALL THAT TO SAY: I needed to tell them I was moving to China before they heard it from someone else, and I wanted to do it in a way that would be both memorable and lighthearted (because I knew as soon as the conversation went off the grid of the speech I had planned, I would cry.) So I did what good teachers do. I frontloaded a crap ton with Magic Tree House books about China, played up my love of pandas (In which I received no less than 1,000 drawings of pandas, stuffed panda friends, and panda jewelry. Never again!) and whipped up some fortune cookies with a message inside to tell them about my next adventure. ;) (Because if you are taking a person away from a child, you better have something good to give them to distract them for a minute. HA!) Telling them was probably the hardest part of the entire process for me. When you work with kids in certain areas, those kids rely on their teachers heavily and I knew I wasn't ready or prepared for the questions they would have during our conversation. Lucky for ME, my friend Jess knew I was telling them during her plan period and staged a sneak attack to come watch from the back of the room. So if you ever want to see a nerve stricken adult having a tough conversation with 7 year olds wherein she may or may not have cried, it is all on video. HA! May- Going Out Strong. Once I'd worked through the process of telling everyone what my future plans were, it was time to make the most of the time I had left with my students and my friends and family. My favorite part of the end of the year was taking the time to intentionally enjoy every day with my kids. So often, teachers in the US are pressed for time and pressured with test scores, data, meetings, statistics, etc. I wanted to make sure my kids were on par and ready for third grade, but even moreso, I wanted to be sure that we ended our year well together. I spent time creating opportunities for them to remember our year together, including creating a classroom yearbook with photos for each student to keep. We celebrated our last day together with a classroom party, and a Hollywood themed "personality" awards ceremony with a movie and popcorn at the end of the day. I wish I could say that we all held it together until the end of the day, but one of my kids started to cry and then we were all done. I will miss this group so much. June- Sell Everything! June comprised of packing, packing, and more packing. I invited a few students in after the last week of school to help me pack up my classroom library and organize things that were being either packed away or handed off to the next classroom teacher who would replace me. We had a fun day together singing KidzBop songs, ordering in Imo's for lunch, and talking and laughing together. The girls who came in were two of the kiddos who had a strong connection with me, and I think having some extra time together gave all of us a bit more closure. Once my classroom was packed (and if you haven't packed a classroom up at the end of the year, you have NO idea what the reality of most teachers is each year), I moved onto the next exciting journey of beginning to pack and sell everything from my South St. Louis apartment. I stashed away the things I was unsure about and hired a moving company to send it all over to my aunt's basement. Then I created an "open apartment sale" on Craigslist and invited teachers and others in by the masses to purchase or make a deal on items, which helped everything else to get taken away. It was liberating in some ways to see them carrying everything away- helping me to prepare for a new start. July- The Transition Begins My parents came up from Florida in July to help in the process of moving things to my aunt's house and cleaning my apartment from top to bottom. Our family friend Jennifer was a saint in taking car load after car load of things to the goodwill to be donated for us. It was work moving out of that apartment, and I will never forget sitting in my living room surrounded by the last few remnants of things, with my mom, dad, and Jennifer and feeling so very loved in how supportive they were being of this next new chapter in my life. I spent my last few days in St. Louis staying at my aunt's house and making final "goodbye" dates for coffee, lunch, etc. with friends before heading back with my parents to Florida for the rest of the summer. Everything that I would be taking to China would be going with us in the car there. I spent the summer relaxing by the pool, reading, and trying to mentally prepare for this new unknown shift in my life. There was a sliiiiight scare in securing my Chinese visa (it arrived less than 24 hours before my flight departed), but other than that, these were relaxing and happy days with my family. August- Settling. I arrived in Hangzhou at the height of the summer heat and still remember stepping off that plane for the first time trying to catch my breath through all of the humidity that met us. We realized through our new hires WeChat group that 7-8 of us were all arriving on the same international flight from San Francisco, and arranged a meetup at the airport to chat a bit and get to know each other. I connected quickly with Heather, from Missouri, and Brianna, from Florida over a drink at the airport bar. We also met Andy & his wife Jess and Claudia, while waiting for the flight. We arrived in Hangzhou pretty close to midnight and were met by our LS Principal, Russ and US assistant principal, Pat. They helped us grab all 20+ bags and put them on the school bus before heading back to campus. We all live on campus this year, and the admin took time to show us to each of our apartments, which were decked out with sheets, towels, pillows, and enough kitchen and food ware to get us by for the first few days. The rest of August was a blitz of orientation and new teacher training, getting settled in to our apartments with many shopping trips to get settled, dinners out getting to know new colleagues, and my birthday, which fell on the first day of school. My new students all seemed so tiny and cute as first graders, and every day seemed to be an adventure of figuring it all out. I quickly became close friends with my two teammates Brianna and Tanya and felt an instant connection with both of them. I had that good old Annie feeling of, "I think I'm gonna like it here!" September- G20 Summit. We arrived in Hangzhou just as the city was taking on the huge task of hosting this year's G20 Summit. This impacted just about everything our first few weeks at HIS, and we could never quite tell if things were a certain way because it was China or because of the G20 Summit. I can't tell you how many times over the months of August and September we were told, "Oh no, you can't do that until after G20." This included seemingly ridiculous things, like getting bicycle tires repaired and foreigners buying kitchen knives and cutlery for our new apartments. The G20 Summit also impacted all of the national and international school schedules, leading us to have a week long holiday not even 3 weeks after school began for the year. Because we did not yet have all of our paperwork finalized, new hires weren't able to travel internationally yet, so Danielle and Heather and I chose to travel down south for the week to see a new part of China and to experience domestic transportation within China. We opted to take the long train to Kunming, which ended up being an experience in itself (let's just say, this was the trip in which we learned that if you'd like to have a train car all to yourself, that you need to book every bed in the car. Otherwise you will find yourself sharing the space with an entire Chinese family- of 6-10 people). We spent most of the train ride taking turns sitting on the small seats in the hallway. After arriving in Kunming for an evening (and waking up to the sounds of the men in the neighborbood all hacking outside our windows at 6 AM) we moved further south to Dali for the week, where we enjoyed the beautiful views, and seeing some of the more traditional aspects of village life in China. This is a place where many Chinese also holiday, and I learned pretty quickly that if you are a foreigner traveling with not one, but two red-headed friends, that people will want to take your picture. All the time. :) We had a great week traveling and met up with Deb, our school counselor, who was also traveling in Dali for the week. We returned back to school for two more weeks before October holiday arrived the first week of October. October- Moon Festival and Halloween. The first few weeks in Hangzhou felt stagnant as there was never quite the opportunity to get into any real rhythm of life with all of the interruptions to our schedule. My friend Danielle and I both chose to stay in Hangzhou over the October holiday to settle a bit more into our new homes and spend some time shopping for items we had put off purchasing at the beginning of our stay. (Namely, couches, which you can read about in our Ikea adventures, posted here). October holiday is when the Chinese celebrate the Moon Festival, and during this time, nearly every morning children would come into the classroom bringing me freshly made mooncakes or delicately prepared store bought ones by the dozen. The end of the month was my first initiation into how HIS celebrates holidays, and the entire day of Halloween was essentially a school wide party in the Lower School. Every child came to school dressed in Halloween costumes (and no small costumes either. I had children in full astronaut costumes with helmets. Every costume was complete from head to toe). Our morning began with a school wide parade, which parents were invited to. We then took pictures around the school with our parents following us from the back of the school to the front to have photos taken with the school sign. The PAFA organization created a trick or treating maze for each class to visit throughout the school. By the time all of this was over, it was nearly lunch time, and my teammates assured me that, on days like Halloween at HIS, you just give into the chaos. So we spent the afternoon painting bats and making Halloween crafts. Surely, I will never work at another school again where Halloween is SUCH a big, special, celebrated event! November- Getting into a Groove. November was probably my favorite month at HIS. While I may not always appear to be one who ascribes to routine, I have an immense need to have a daily/weekly grind. This was the month when I felt like I was finally getting into a decent groove in my classroom. I had already worked out some kinks and at this point my students were better understanding the routines for our classroom and both Daily 5 and our workshop models were all fully implemented. I still felt like I was reaching for straws sometimes (and will no doubt continue to feel that way at least a smidge until the first year is completely under my belt), but this is the point in the year where I really felt like I was figuring out who my students were as learners. A month without breaks is a good thing. :) It was also the month of Thanksgiving (I'm sure you needed me to tell you that), and we had a great time celebrating with American and non-American friends alike! I was tasked with running the Sunshine Committee in early October (essentially a teacher social club), and we helped in running a few game/movie nights in the fall, and helped Andrea, our Community Relations director, get some things running for our big Thanksgiving Dinner this year. It was great to celebrate and fun to share the tradition with others who aren't from the US/Canada and don't typically celebrate. December- The Whirlwind. December was a whirlwind from beginning to end. We had a very busy month full of assemblies, reports, winter parties, and more! By the time the last day of school came to a close before the holidays, I didn't know whether we were coming or going. I joined the staff band (kind of haphazardly) and somehow got talked into performing at the schoolwide assembly the last day of school before break. We had a great time rewriting the words to, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and creating it into an HIS version, which was fun. Pat and I took off immediately following the end of the school day and headed to HCMC for a week in Vietnam. We quite possibly had the longest day of travel EVER, purchasing a visa on arrival (which wasn't as easy as the internet made it seem), and arriving at our hotel around 3 AM. We immediately ordered room service (real pho brought to our room in the middle of the night!) and basked in the ability to sleep in and wander the city for coffee the following morning. We let ourselves soak in a massage at our hotel and enjoyed a few days of exploring the temples and street food on the streets. We spent a day out in the Mekong Delta with a guide, and all in all, truly enjoyed our time in beautiful Vietnam. Spending the rest of December at home with my family in Florida, where I look forward to ringing in 2017. Excited to see what else is in store! One of my trade offs for not traveling during China National Holiday was knowing that if I didn't take the time to nest and put some time and work into my apartment now, that it would be at least another month until I found the time to do it. The weeks following October break will be busy with grades, conferences, and really getting into a good groove for second quarter. There is nothing I love more than moving into a new place and making it mine. It is usually where most of my focus is in new seasons of life. Any of you who have been dragged around antique stores with me in St. Louis know just how much I love the collecting and building part of creating my home. In fact, one of the toughest parts of this move was deciding which pieces of art to part with and what I would allow myself to hold onto for the future "what ifs." :) It might surprise you then, that in my two months in Hangzhou, I have purchased very little for my new place. I have focused so heavily on getting settled into my classroom and other new routines that creating a workable home space fell to the wayside. It began to wear on me towards the end of September and I knew I wouldn't be completely happy in my new place until I invested some time and money into it. Leaving behind artwork, travel treasures, and the things that make your house a home leaves a lot of room to start over with. I think in some ways, I have felt overwhelmed by the process. Now, I'll be honest, even in the States, I'm not a huge IKEA fan. In most cases, I loathe mass produced anything. I have much too great a love of finding unique pieces that have a story behind their creation. So, you might ask, why IKEA? Well, for one- I'm in China, and IKEA is easy. :) It's a one stop shop to get practical things: linens, candles, kitchen supplies, furniture, etc. And because I hadn't had the "IKEA China experience" (which I was assured was a must have experience), I decided to brave it over the holiday break. I believe several IKEA trips have happened upon my colleagues in our 8 weeks here, however, I purposefully stepped aside assuring them that it was an experience I was willing to miss. However, it came down to the deciding factor that I most especially wanted a couch that led me to consider making the trek there. We were provided with a generous furnished apartment, however, I had been eyeing a specific IKEA couch for a while now and knew I'd feel a little bit more at home in having something I chose myself. And so the IKEA adventures began. I must tell you that prior to even arriving in China, I was warned by my grade level teammates that there are two experiences: Shopping at IKEA and Shopping at IKEA in China. I brushed the comments away and laughed. I find IKEA overwhelming in the States anyway, so I wasn't expecting that a China experience would be all that different. And I would be wrong. Danielle was also in the mix for a couch, so we decided to brave it the first Sunday of our break to get it over with. By this point, I'd been given enough detailed run downs of previous IKEA trips to expect it to be an all day affair. Danielle and I met and hopped the bus to the Metro stop and rode the Metro to IKEA. I have a tendency to lose track of time when given conversation opportunities, but I believe it took us about an hour to get there. Danielle is a planner (I am not) so she mapped out the time frame of how long it would take us to get lunch before we started shopping. She estimated that by the time we got off the Metro, stood in line and found a place to eat that it would be another hour before we started shopping. I laughed at her. But guess who knew what she was talking about? Because, GOOD GRIEF SO MANY PEOPLE. I think our first great mistake was deciding to shop at Ikea, in China, during a Chinese National Holiday. People were out in full force and I was amazed at the crowds. I wish I had thought to take pictures sooner in the trip but I think for the good first hour I was lost in a daze. We made it through the lunch line, found a Chinese couple who were gracious enough to let us share a table with them, and ate before venturing out on our shopping adventures. Pretty early on in the trip, my motto became, "If you like it, buy it, because you are NEVER coming back here." The first part of our shopping adventure was the showroom (which I found out afterwards that you can actually skip). When my teammates were preparing me for my IKEA trip, they said, "There are two reasons why Chinese locals go to IKEA: to eat and to sleep." And I thought they were kidding. You all. I do not have sufficient enough evidence to show you the mayhem of the IKEA showroom. I do have a handful of photos (below), but even they do not accurately depict the immense amount of people. sleeping. UNDER THE COVERS. of the IKEA showroom. If you look closely in some of these photos, you can see the show beds are unmade.....Because at some point a young couple put their baby down for a nap there ....or an older gentlemen decided to take an afternoon snooze just for the heck of it while his family shopped. Perhaps the funniest part of the trip actually amounted to couch shopping. This is probably the first experience of my adult life where I saw a piece of furniture I liked (kindly asking a couple to move so I could sit on it for two minutes) wrote down the number, and left without a second glance. The showrooms were overflowing with people and luckily, I had made up my mind that it wasn't the time to be indecisive. On to the next! We made it out of the showrooms, where the madness continued. Only this time, there were just as many people, but now...they all had carts. At one point during our sweep through the kitchen aisles, there were so many people that Danielle got stuck in a corner about 2 yards directly in front of me. I kept trying to say her name, but the crowd of people cutting her off and whipping by her was so ridiculous that she didn't hear me. She kept turning around to try to place me, which finally led me to burst with laughter. I had never seen anything like this. It was like Black Friday multiplied by 8. The rest of the shopping trip was a blur (until we hit the carpet showroom and Danielle had to talk me off the ledge of buying a Persian rug). At one point, Danielle looked at her watch and remarked on how late it was. I told her I didn't want to know a thing about the time- I'd rather live in the abyss of timelessness. :) Eventually, 8 hours after we walked in the store we walked back out. It was a maddening, albeit, amusing trip and we were tired. Our evening ended with a long train ride home (where I became best buds with not one, but TWO babies) and a standing room only bus ride that was so full of people that it didn't even matter if you held onto a hand rail because the wall of people around you could support you when the bus would inevitably come screeching to a halt. At one point, there had to have been over 200 of us on the city bus and again- you laugh. Because life is funny. All in all, I don't regret my IKEA trip. It makes for a good story and a heck of an interesting China experience. But I promise you: I won't be returning anytime soon. We survived. (That's my fake smile.) |
AuthorMichelle is an expat and globetrotter, currently residing in Augsburg, Germany. Originally from the US, she has called Guam, China, and Germany home. Her passions include collecting children's picture books, reading, writing, traveling, and trying to remove coffee stains from freshly cleaned shirts. Archives
February 2022
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